I still haven’t messaged his ex at this point. I saw some more transactions between him & her and she sounded like she was reluctant to let him into her life. I didn’t want to interfere with that. However, I had drafted a letter that I was humming and haaing on. Princess Nalini pointed out that it was girl code to send an email.
I still wasn’t convinced. It was one thing for me to find out what the hell he was about. It was another thing entirely to interfere with their lives.
On that note, I gained access to his facebook. Turns out Marta is no longer his friend. Guess she DID dump his ass. Haven’t seen an email from her in a while too.
I found out why he bailed on dinner plans with me on the Sunday night. He had plans with yet another girl (that makes #4?) to go to Carderos. Think she lives in my neighborhood. He was weird about walking down Denman with me. Would hold my hand but claimed he didn’t like being on a main street. I think he was afraid of running into her. No wonder Finnigan only sees him once in a while. Juggling 4-5 women takes time!
Based on what the ex fiance wrote (6 months she has lived in London), he has been if you will… dating. There was a girl he had been corresponding/hanging out with in the summer. It seemed to have escalated to a falling out where upon a male friend had emailed him a few times threatening that if Raptor didn’t leave island girl alone, he would kick his ass. Raptor of course doesn’t know what he is talking about but sounds like f’ing girls over is Raptor’s M.O.
He has a friend request sent to her that she is failing to answer.
Found out why he was fighting with his sister. Turns out before Chrsitmas, the family was over at his parents for their anniversary & in the middle of the night stole the car and left the house. Because he didn’t have a license, the car was impounded (guess he got pulled over? ) I would assume he had been drinking. Costs his dad money every day it is in the lot. His sister got mad at him & he pointed out that ‘he doesn’t need this’.
Dude has accountability issues by the sounds of it. She called him out that he shouldn’t skulk away & hide til everything blew over & that he should grow up. Told him to f off. (this then corresponds with the email to his dad saying his sister is calling him names on fb & will not be there at christmas when she was).
He said he was staying with friends (this where he was living when I met him?), and was fine. So I’m guessing after he and fiance broke up, he moved home and he travelled. He only had his job since november so I would assume otherwise he is a penniless bum.
He has a bunch of BS with his friends. One in particular talks about opportunities elsewhere. Raptor expressed interest in moving to Kelowna because as he puts it “chicks here are f’d”
yea.. well, when we are lied to repeatedly, we get bent you stupid selfish loser.
Every time I learned something new, I would email my friends. I would fill them in on all that was going on. They were just as shocked at the next new thing I learned as they were. Being that we are analytical, all we could ask is.. why?
Why would he do this? I kept wondering if something happened to him somewhere along the line that f’d him up. He mentioned his dad ruled with fear. Does this mean he was abused? Nanz contended that afghanistan would have screwed him up a lot. His lack of responsibility mirrored that of Train Wreck & I learned Train wreck was sexually abused as a child…. or he could be the epitome of douche bag. It is hard to tell.
I was however monitoring the exchange between Raptor and Ex. He would tell her how well he was doing. He was the man she fell in love with in the first place but he needed an answer. He needed to know once & for all if there was a chance for them. He thinks that they make each other a better person. He would send her inspirational quotes. He even sent this youtube love video to an incubis song that he said reminded him of her.
side bar: I can’t for the life of me, fathom this guy. He leads such a shady life & thinks this woman will love him in return. Part of me wonders what is wrong with her to be taken in again. You move to London & you are considering it. I would assume partly it is being showered with so much attention and affection you start to think it is real.
She however, is hesitant. She tells him. Look, I need to spend some alone time. That if their paths crossed, then maybe they could see then but until then she is going to do her thing. She is going to spread her wings she is getting promoted at work. She is happy for him that he is working hard & doing well with work (i believe it takes sociopaths to work the financial industry), but at this point in time can not say yes or no if they have a future.
She wasn’t sure about the emails of I love you, the early morning phone calls where she could hear my voice.
I kind of want to shake her. Dude ruined you personally and financially. Cheated on you for 2 years. Said you were suicidal & left you alone on Christmas and Valentines Day and you are not sure? Is she just so polite or stupid?
I dated him for a month & want to rip out his eyes. She was engaged & is happy for him?
Anyways, he responds with a “I take that as a no, but I love you anyways. This doesn’t change anything for him. He will be in London in April. Maybe we can see one another”
I took that as a polite no. I also took that as an opportunity. I didn’t want to email her because I hate him (I do) but rather I wanted to protect this stupid girl. Why go through with round 2 of torture? However, I was nervous. I revised my letter a couple of times. I sent it to friends. They think it is good.
OK. so after a couple of ceasars Wednesday night. I fired it off from my anonymous account. I kind of stared at the computer and wondered if I could take it back.