KLZ had winnings from a sex & the city slot machine at MGM and well, we loved our last walk about so much we wanted to recreate the fun.
The slot game made no sense. It was a weird selection of clothes & buttons & pulling. However, a $5 investment garnered her $60 so we cashed out & hit the strip but not before acquiring some purse beers.
As we were walking thru the casino. We found ourselves in step with a couple of younger guys. They had a bucket of beer. We say hi. They say hi and then immediately ask “do you want a beer”
I have always learned that when someone offers you free booze, you take it. They wished us well & we were back on the street.
Around here, retarded laughter fest kicked in. We were crossing the street as the light was turning yellow.
Shaloah & I ran for it but KLZ was stuck on the curb. In effort to entertain my stranded friend. I opted for the show. I started lifting my skirt & high kicking & rubbing my legs.
It doesn’t occur to me that there are many many people around me. Other ones that can see my actions and actually comment on them. KLZ starts to laugh. She then begins to cry because the people surrounding her are pointing out the freak that is dancing on the other side of the street.
She crosses and couldn’t even get the words out which in turn prompted us to laugh. I exclaim we were outside the casino I had been in the night before with C-who knows, and we should definitely go in for the cheap shooters. So we enter.
In relative sobriety, I don’t like Planet Hollywood. Nor did the others. The lobby bar didn’t have the shooter special so we kept walking.. right up to Cabo Wabo where we downed a couple of tequila shots.
Now.. I hate tequila. Tequila and I have had a tumultuous relationship over the years.
There was the incident w/ the rocky mountain bear fucker where after shooting it back (trying to show up a few american guys from Atlanta), I puked right into my hand. Didn’t help there was a bystander feeling the need to Nelson ha ha that moment & exclaim they saw that ! (thanks for pointing rather then handing me a napkin).
There was tray of shooters at the moose on Bride’s bday one year. After a sketchy shooter, I had to go have a conversation with myself in the corner to ensure I would get thru that moment.
and there was Mexico. There wasn’t one particular moment in Mexico but rather the trip as a whole had scared me off that particular type of booze. This of course culminated on Christmas with my fateful tequila volleyball/tequila popper afternoon. (did I EVER blog about mexico?????)
Anyways.. I haven’t drank tequila since Mexico. I never threw up but I did grow a huge aversion. However standing outside cabo wabo with your two friends doesn’t give you a lot of choice. They lined up the shooters, and we handed them our cameras & they took some of the best photos e.v.e.r.
One day when KLZ actually uploads, I will post my after tequila face… classic.
After a body shudder, we were on our way… right into 3 middle aged drunk men who wanted us to join them for happy hour. Who are we to complain? Course one of them was handsey and all over KLZ.
This didn’t sit well with her. He managed to unload his nudie cards he acquired on the street onto Shaloah who in turn dumped them into her purse. I did get them both back 2 weeks later by mailing those cards to them in an unmarked envelope. However, at this moment it didn’t seem to matter. We followed them a little bit into the casino & decided that was enough. We had a hankering & it wasn’t going to be fed here.
Yup… we had a craving for all things classy: War & Beer Pong. Both of which are now table games if you are in the right casino.
So we hit Paris & with the remaining slot winnings had ourselves several rounds of WAR.
K… this game is mind boggling boring unless we’re sitting there which explains why the table is dead every time we see it. When we sit down. Not only are we just fun but whenever all three of us would beat the dealer, we would drum roll lightly getting louder and louder and faster and fast ending with us throwing our arms in the air with a big cheer.
By the time we were done there, there was a wait list to play. I kid you not. I would have been the first out (is there strategy to betting on war?), however, KLZ slaps $100 down and was aware of the absurdity of the situation but we were having fun.
I was still the first out. Luckily we played long enough for us to get our complimentary drinks & I was now seeing blurry. We taught the new people the drum roll cheer and they too were partaking in the loudness.
I decided my bladder was full & voyaged off. I did manage to forge a new plan. (I seem to do a lot of thinking in bathrooms).
I was going to take my dollar to the penny slots & turn it into 10 dollars & go back to the war table & turn that into $100 and then we would have shooter money.
This was honestly my plan. So brilliant I thought I was, I had wished my friends were with me so I could bestow this great plan to them as giggling wildly by yourself attracts a lot of strange looks from strangers.
This would have worked out except the slots had other ideas & i was down yet another $1 (not a big gambler I am). So I went back to find my friends. Shaloah was also finally out (she had been up $80 at one point) and we met yet another group of middle aged men.
This time we only posed for photos with them & exchanged hats. I had one monster of a straw hat and it drew in a lot of attention.
When KLZ finally lost, we were on our way.. with a quick pit stop in the loo.
Unbeknownst to them, I opted to wait for them on the chairs just outside. I don’t know what triggered me. I may have been able to hear them in the bathroom but I yet again, burst into a fit of giggles. This one bigger then any others as it rendered me speechless. KLZ popped her head around the corner to see what the noise is & sees me in a puddle on the chair.
It was about here where I started to wonder if they slipped me mushrooms in my last drink. I was contagious and KLZ was now on the chair next to me laughing.
I honestly have no idea how long we were there for but all monday, my abs were sore from that afternoon.
We slowly made our way back to the hotel. Stopping for photo op’s & beers. I tried dancing with some random man on the street outside our hotel (he of course was dancing first and was clearly lonely) but he seemed to be beating to his own drum.
Seeing it was late in the day, we wanted to go up to see what the other girls were doing and gather the rest for beer pong (i did say we were doing it up classy like).
When we got upstairs everyone was in great spirits with one exception. The bride had passed out hard.
She was passed out on top of the bed spread in her bikini with the veil attached. One arm was across her eyes and the other was strewn out across the bedspread still holding a half eaten piece of pizza. When I checked in 10 minutes later, she still hadn’t stirred but thankfully the pizza had been removed.
She was done.
However, there is no rest for the wicked and this was our last night in Vegas!