HI!
I know it’s been a while.. I say that all the time but I do miss writing & I do always intend to write, I just never either find time to nor do I find time to think about what I want to extoll…mostly because I just feel as though things have come to a boring halt. As though nothing too exciting happens any more or that the finite minutia to which I describe every day is completely banal… Then I realized. It was always boring it’s just that I’m in a relationship now & I have no one to make fun of.
When I wasn’t in a relationship, I was out there, I was meeting people, I was dating (if you want to call it that) but the bottom line is the bottomless pit of strange dates/occurances happened frequently and I was never out of material. Bruce has ruined all that. The problem is, I like him. I actually respect this relationship which is why he hasn’t graced the pages of this blog to often in fear that it will come back to bite me in the ass. Rather, he just showed up one day & was just there. Granted, I held that same belief with Furniture Man but every date with Furniture Man turned into a road trip & well, ROAD TRIP (enough said).
No… things with Bruce are good. They are progressing & growing the same way any functioning relationship would. He doesn’t fall off the face of the earth a week at a time like Train Wreck. He doesn’t bombard me w/ chauvenist yada yada like Kcity… no.. it works. Don’t know why.. it just does so much so we’ve started talking about….. us.
You know… us as though together we have taken on a life of our own & deserve to have our own identity. (barf). It all started with well, the first date but back in October Scammy & I had headed over to Nanaimo to the Calico Cat to have our tea leaves read and she asked if I lived with my bf & I answered no to which she replied that we are going to talk about it sooner then later. While he may be the one that pushes for it, I on the other hand am content with the way things are. (lol… yes.. yes, I am. If I in fact I have the rest of my life to be with him, I’m in no rush to start picking up after him).
I took the entire reading with a grain of salt as she also said she could see me hiking kilamingaro and that thought only came about because she put it in my head. However, it did make me start thinking…. What is going on with Bruce? Do we have a future? Does he want to live with me? bla bla bla… So then I thought which is really the worst thing I could do as thinking is if a fine line between that and brooding for me but I came up with only one solution. I HAD to talk to him.
So one friday night, we had plans to get dinner. I figured this will be good. We’ll be relaxed, there will be alcohol, it should naturally come up. Well, it doesn’t. It really has no place in having any enjoyable evening….. never talk about your future if you want to have fun. (just kidding… sort of). I had chickened out but I was determined to say….. something. So finally, when we get into his truck & we were driving I mustered the courage (maybe it has something to do with the fact he isn’t looking directly at me). I ask him: Do you think about us? I figured it was generic, it was open for interpretation & isn’t scary. (however, there’s that identity to it all).
He answers yes & looked at me (what’s with the eye contact??? Can we please pretend we are not next to each other) and asks for clarification: you mean with rings on our fingers?
I then so eloquently answer in return….
OH MY GOD!!!! NOT THAT!!!!
ya… i’m smoothe. He felt like an idiot & I quickly tried to cover up by rambling some sort of bs about me, us, him, us… I really have no idea as I wasn’t listening to anything coming out of my mouth. At this point, I couldn’t tell you if it were sentences or more just words & sounds and that conversation came to a prompt halt.
However, it’s now out there… and has since then been discussed with a little more finesse (and wine) and I have decided to move the relationship forward the only way I know how… leave stuff at his place! and more importantly, without him knowing.
Yea, I’m a huge grown up.
No, I decided it’s time to leave some bathroom items behind so I put my toothebrush in his bathroom cabinet. I hate brushing my teeth next to someone else so I do my bedtime duties alone & he didn’t see me place it there (if we have to get ready in the morning at the same time, I will brush & wander). Seeing it was right before he was leaving for Mexico, he was bound to find it as he packed his toiletries so I thought I would confront it one night on the phone.
“I left something behind in the bathroom”
*pause* I could hear him sweating through the phone as he asks frantically “what?”. He has now moved himself from the couch & is darting towards the bathroom to find out what it is. I’m feeling a little put off by the freak out & realize what the real problem was so I answer: NO, it’s not tampons.
Apparently, everything else is fine… cotton torpedos…. too far.