I will admit that I promised I would be back. I will admit I’ve been absent. I will admit that I totally re-negged on my promises & therefore I kind of suck…. maybe I should be a politician. I don’t know about you but I’m votered out and we in Vancouver still have one more election! Ugh ….. it never ends.
I will also admit this…. I thought I was done. I thought I had no more stories. I thought that this was a total waste of time to sit & write the minutia of my everyday life to entertain you who is so obviously bored sitting at your desk that you chose to read this. (Trust me, I’m insulting me not you)…. and then it happened… Halloween. Halloween happened. Not that it was the first time we’ve had that holiday but it seems that I’ve started to let my guard down and did it…. I drunk texted
“Your breasts can resuscitate children from the brink of death… you’re Sam.”
Yea, I don’t know either…. but I do know they’re real & they’re spectacular.
True, I may sound like I’ve taken to playing on a swing but I assure you this happened moments before passing out only to be woken by Bruce wondering why I was still wearing my costume. As he tried to undress me, all I could do was roll around & giggle. I should have complied as it would have been a lot more comfortable seeing as I was wearing a plug… yes a plug. At the beginning of October, I started grumbling about Halloween and was observing that it was only an excuse for girls to dress slutty which in fact, is one of Bruce’s favourite things.
I did not agree.
I commented that I would rather be something clever or funny then slutty as really, I could dress slutty any other day of the year (see Mid April Night’s Dream…) So as I was complaining, I came upon this little costume:
We agreed this could be quite funny especially if we figure out a way to cut the bottom outlet. So of course Bruce humped as many people he could at the party & we of course, turned my outlets around so I could bend over… Oh yes the yuks continued throughout the nite….. to the point where I finally shrieked: I WANT TO WEAR THE PLUg!
So we traded & then I was able to walk up to people so I could hump them and attack Bruce (because I don’t do that anyways… yes, that is sarcasm) so after 5 minutes that was old so I climbed the stairs to the room we were staying in to phone Sammy. I divulged that I really really wanted to wear the plug & was having a good night but it was about time for me to go to sleep.
I have since been informed that I actually passed out as I was making that statement as she heard a muffled roll and “aksdjfa ka sk skf lka” where I was later by Bruce trying to take off the plug. His concern stemmed from the fact I bitched about them being wilty at the beginning of the night and was so concerned to keep their boxy shape on the drive out only to watch me roll over the prongs in fits of giggles.
They’re now rolled up somewhere in Bruce’s closet.