Can’t believe I forgot about one glaring moment at Stampede. Actually I can as it happened in the wee hours of the night. The second night there, on friday, after I had been drinking at the rodeo all day, after I had been drinking at 1410 all evening and after I had been drinking & winging all night at Morgan’s did I finally hear the sweet words: I’m ready to go… SWEET MOSES, I get to get a slice of pizza & go to bed! My feet have never been so happy except that they didn’t hurt so I’m not sure what I’m talking about.
btw… what the hell kind of saying is sweet moses anyways? Another one is “Are you shitting me?” as though I’m physically trying to push you out of my anus (bad word). Don’t write me & say, it’s supposed to be bullshitting you… if you say bullshitting I’m ok with that but shitting me just brings out some imagery I’d rather not envision.
I digress.
So we (Scammy and myself) FINALLY pry ourselves away from the bar, mostly because they said last call and we poured ourselves into a cab for the 10 blocks we had to go. Once we got what was some of the sweetest tasting pizza, we had a short walk down the back alley to her apartment.
As we were shuffling our way down, we happened across 2 guys that appeared to be working under the hood of their car. Without hesitation, Scammy bounded over inquiring as to what the problem was. While she and howdy doody mulled over what the problem could be (woman has had everything happen to her old car & usually while she was camping in the middle of nowhere, and therefore has a good grasp of all things broken & hopeless… and like most woman, has a good grasp of the easiest answer)…
ANYWAYS, as I mentioned, while Scammy looked over the engine, Howdy’s friend thought he’d introduce myself. I think it’s appropriate to point out that it was late, I was eating, tired & really couldn’t care less about what was going on with their car. So when buddy decided to try & talk to me, I was less then courteous or maybe I was because why else after meeting someone for a minute would a guy ask me to kiss him.
HALLELUJAH … This is EXACTLY what I’ve been looking for! A man that is lurking in the alley late at night waiting to prey on some unsuspecting woman.. how’d he know? yes, it was love, we went on to totally do it right there against the garbage bin or at least that’s how it played out in the porn I saw yesterday one time.
In reality, I told him NO, you can’t have any pizza as “Leanne doesn’t share food” (I think I was more offended that he wanted my food then a kiss), yelled for Scammy to hurry up & beat it from there.
I was finally reminded of this sentiment last night as I was walking down the street when I passed by a portly fellow wearing large headphones who tried to lock eyes with me. Yes, he had on what looked like a cross between a crazy, smarmy, andy dick look on his face as he approached me. He didn’t simply pass by me either. No, instead he kind of tilted over the side & changed the directory of his walk. When I mentioned portly, i meant….. obese, so I doubt he could make sharp turns but he seemed to have wanted to wander directly into me. So much so that by the time he passed by me, I had to bend over to avoid having my face near his. It was odd. I got to the corner & looked back and he was standing there watching me walk.
When I got back to the park where Bruce was playing ball, (yes, I was out AGAIN at another exciting game except for a change, they won.. don’t repeat that), he had told me that when I left the truck, and I went one way, and he another, he had passed by that very same portly, headset wearing fellow…. hmmm. Wonder if his name is Brian?