In effort to be the perfect girlfriend, I’m now on regular rotation at two-four’s baseball games… or so I thought. I arrived late last night as I was working out at a bootcamp that was in the neighborhood and then made it over to his field. Not that I missed much seeing it is fastball & despite the name is a slow moving game.
When I had arrived, I had just missed his double base grounder so I had to wait a couple of innings before he went up to bat. So when he did, I was perplexed as to why his team mates were cheering “Go get em Bruce… ” because clearly that is not his name. It’s Two-Four.
I actually wondered for a moment if they had his name wrong & then the catcher looked at me & asked “you know why we call him that right?” I almost blurted out “Because he’s hairy?”** but I didn’t want to invite a whole load of other questions into the conversation nor considering I’ve met the catcher only 2 times, I wasn’t ready to divulge my odd side to him …… yet. Instead, I waited the awkward long pause for him to tell me to no avail. So I had to finally say “no….. tell me”. Turns out it’s only because at one game, the announcer over the loudspeaker called him up to bat as that. As Bruce Gammit. I suppose it would be a lot funnier at the time b/c well… lame.
But I thought about it as he was up there striking out (you didn’t read that from me) I realized it in fact is the PERFECT name… if you’re a superhero. It’s the perfect alter ego. You’ve got your Clark Kent to Superman or your Bruce Wayne to Batman. I’ve got in my possession (oh yea, I own him), the alter ego. The question that remains is what kind of super hero he is. Judging from the behavior I’ve witnessed, I think he’s the keeper of naps which hey, I’m a fan of.
** Always thought someone named Bruce would have a lot of chest hair. May be because the Bruce I knew in highschool was nick named Wolfman or that Springsteen buds a lot of hair himself. Either way the name Bruce sparks images of porn stars and tight slacks much the same way the name Bobby Ray inflicts images of inbreeding and hicks.