Soiled
Panties
Anus
There is a certain ring to these words that send me crawling up the wall.
Finger f&*k is one that throws Sunny into a tail spin. This of course was acceptable Saturday morning conversation en route to our day at the salon.
As part of her bday weekend, Sunny had booked us four girls into the salon for manis/pedis & blow-outs (Sun & Gina got colour as well but that’s not here nor there) We did, however, need a ride down to the salon as we decided to up the fun with beer & cider. Something which was trumped by Sunny & I opening a bottle of wine around 11am. Needless to say, we needed a bitch and that bitch was named Chad.
Yes, Chad drove our 4 asses downtown (Sun lives about 15 minutes outside Victoria near a place called Sidney) and dropped us off. Before I delve into our little voyage, I want to remind you about the Spare Generator syndrome… where you’re so hung over, that you only have enough functioning power to work manually, but things like the edit button of your brain is turned off. So with that being said, it was only natural that while sitting at the gas station, the topic of anal sex came up. While 2 of us were very quiet & prudish about the topic, there were 2 others that wouldn’t stop. So much so that when Chad got back into the car after filling his tank, we asked him if the topic was a little too much for him. No, in fact, this was a topic that Chad could really get behind (haha!!! honestly, I thought that up this morning or earlier this morning as it’s not even 730 yet, and was the whole reason for wanting to post).
No, not surprising that he could handle the Bum Fun conversation. However, the conversation quickly slipped into a discussion of underwear.. namely panty liners & well, as soon as that word made it’s first appearance did Chad halt our talk… not word no matter the context does a guy want to hear. So of course we had to text it to him all day. My favourite was ‘soiled panty liners’…. see, now you hate the word too I bet.
However, I will enlighten you as to why that was discussed. Actually no idea how the conversation shifted (I was half a bottle of wine into the day after all) but I was told of a story how a girl wasn’t able to launder her underwear (note above this synonym makes my skin crawl) so she did the flip inside out thing & when that ran it’s course, she then started using, & forgive me, panty liners…
There are all sorts of wrong with that sentence. Namely, the inability to launder your underwear. I’m a girl. I’ve travelled. If worse comes to worse, you wash them in the sink. How big are you briefs anyways? Hell, I can ball mine into my fist if need be.
Yes, I’m ignoring the elephant in the sentence.