Sorry about the look of the site. At least on my browser it is f’d much like my life right now.
Yes, I leave for Mexico on friday. No, I’m not looking forward to it. Yes, I’m completely stressed out. No, I’m not sleeping. Yes, I’m having completely f’d dreams. No, they aren’t worth repeating… ok, so that part’s a lie. Yes, boys are part of the cause of all my recent drama. No, it’s not only just that.
I had the most interesting conversation with Furniture Man last night (first conversation with him since July) and well, it was very enlightening. Have you ever had a conversation after you were over someone and saw them for who they really were? I don’t know if it is because neither of us are no longer putting on airs or if it is because of the lack of sexual tension but the man is completely f’d and I say that totally unbiased….. let’s just say, he is the epitome of selfish and the soul reason he doesn’t want a long term relationship is because he doesn’t want to have to make plans in the future. “I don’t want to have to be tied down the following weekend.. I want to be able to just go away when I want”…………………. um, ok? As far as he is concerned, he doesn’t want his current relationship to move along any further then it is as it is perfectly ok except for the fact that it has been too long and he is thinking it is time to move on…. I REALLY wish, that I had not spent as much time as I did agonizing & analyzing what EVERYTHING meant and perhaps I would have a good night’s sleep in April but NO.. no … no…. no, I have to be a girl & think everything means something and create drama out of thin air and think that possibly this person I have feelings for couldn’t be this shallow & retarded. That perhaps some snippets of good words mean something but instead be a deep brooding character that, with the right woman, will open up & overcome his issues… and I call him f’d…..
Which brings me to my enemy… that’s still going on .. well, sort of. His life has taken a turn for the completely unmanageable and well, I’m heading down to Mexico unfettered (like that would have stopped me anyways). However, to add a wrinkle to all the plans in action at this point, Law student is going to be there & looking forward to seeing me, K-lo boy will be here for new years & well, my NYC man is back from Thailand…….. my blog is back!!!!
Side bar: Of the past 3 nights I have slept, I have dreamt that I have a hairy ass, (fading from stubble to down right long hair hanging off), to marrying a sheik & his other wives thinking I was too old to KCITY having something wrong with his foot & his need to use a cane….. none of that means anything right? I think that’s the least of my worries considering just this morning my right hip was so sore that I couldn’t walk so instead i opted to hop around my apartment only to bash my left him right into the counter…. I too would also like to know who would do that but then again I am the girl that practices her ninja skills, walks into strangers apartments & listens to the goons………